22nd June 2015

Just in case any of you thought I did not exist, here is me, modest and magnificent. The horns are getting there, no two ways about it. This time next year they will be about right for sticking into Twolegs and any one else for that matter.

He was here the other day with two others, one was a new Longhair and the other a Whitehair. They spent a while looking at us and then, and this takes the biscuit, they spent ages looking at a stone sticking out of the grass. Whitehair even scuttled off to get the black clicky thing which he pointed at the stone from every conceivable angle. He was clearly excited about it. Twolegs banged on as usual and the other two nodded but I doubt they believed a word he said – you wouldn’t would you!

We all know that the stones – and there is a row of them and they have holes in them – are just a pointless exercise by some long dead twolegs who had more time on his hands than he knew what to do with, so what did he do? He carved a load of stones and bunged them in a row. That’s what he did, what a clot.

If the twolegged lot had hooves instead of hands they would have a much happier time watching the days go by like we do.

Wylde of Chillingham